


Shipping Wars

by ficlicious



Category: Avengers Academy (Video Game), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: AU of an AU, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Twins, BROT3, Crack Treated Seriously, F/F, Gen, I Will Go Down With This Ship, Kamala Is An RPF Shipper, M/M, Misunderstandings, OT3 But Not Really, Shipping, Social Media
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-02
Updated: 2016-03-02
Packaged: 2018-05-24 08:39:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6147937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ficlicious/pseuds/ficlicious
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <b>or, The Perils of Dissing Thor’s OTPs</b>
  <br/>
  <i>or, Thor Odinson and the Pairings of Doom</i>
</p>
<p>Fandom is a weird, wondrous place, but sometimes, shippers can be dangerous. When Toni, Steve and Thor's strange friendship is interpreted as a romantic relationship (dubbed Stark Spangled Hammer on various fan sites), it causes trouble for just about everyone at the Academy. </p>
<p>Thanks, Kamala.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Shipping Wars

**Author's Note:**

> I sat down to write Sure Shot, and discovered that I was actually writing Shipping War instead. I hate/love it when that happens.
> 
> 1 of 3.

Toni is not quite sure how she ended up BFFs with the two very large, very tall, very muscley blonds, but after a couple of weeks, it’s undeniable. Toni and Steve and Thor gravitate naturally towards each other, managing to somehow end up at the same table for lunch, no matter what part of the quad they start on. 

It's an odd friendship by all accounts: the interdimensional alien royal, the man out of time, and the sixth smartest person on Earth seem like the punchline of a joke, not a friendship. The campus isn’t open to the public, but someone manages to find their way over the walls on a weekly basis, and both Kamala and Jan have thousands of followers on their social media accounts. It doesn’t take long for gossip rags to pick up on the closeness between them, and start speculating about their relationship status. 

Toni ignores the gossip rags on sheer principle — they’ve been pairing her with everyone from Victor von Doom to the Monacan prince since she was eight or nine — and advises Steve and Thor to do the same. It only takes the first giant bug invasion and seeing how instinctively and  _ effectively  _ the three work together for their critics, fans and permanent paparazzi to stop speculating and start reporting.

And that’s how Stark Spangled Hammer apparently becomes a thing. 

\-----------

Thursday nights are sacrosanct in the Avengers dormitory. Not only do they have the god for which the day was named living amongst them, it’s also the only night Toni has free to work on her Master Plan to Assimilate Steve and Thor into Modern Culture. Sometimes, others find the time to join them for whatever movie JARVIS plays for them, but never everyone at once. 

Tonight, it’s just the three of them, because it’s Thor’s turn to choose and, under the advice of Darcy Lewis, a SHIELD hopeful who has become close with Lady Sif, he’s selected  _ Beowulf.  _ No one wanted to stick around after that, but Toni sits gamely between Thor and Steve on the couch, in her usual spot, trying not to fall asleep (again; she only stopped drooling on Steve’s shoulder because Thor’s exuberant shout during what he thought was a particularly moving scene woke her back up). It’s an awful movie, but she has no intention of moving. 

Because Steve and Thor are  _ enraptured.  _

Steve’s eyes are huge in his face, his mouth a slightly agape O of astonishment, and Toni knows it’s because it’s a long, long way from the shorties at the local nickelodeons of his childhood, and Toni doubts he’s had much time to sit down and watch cartoons since SHIELD pulled him out of the ice and threw him back into the fight against Hydra. Thor, on the other hand, sits with tears streaming down his face, riveted to the screen, animated and dynamic with the shifting emotions of the story, clenching his fist in shared rage or fierce battle-joy, crying and laughing at appropriate moments.

It’s honestly entertaining as hell. Moreso than the godawful movie, anyway. 

It’s not even an hour into the movie, but it feels like five times that long. Toni’s phone chirps with an incoming text. She winces, because one of the rules of movie night is that her phone is supposed to go on vibrate, because this is Cultural Assimilation Night, but neither one of them notice. She surreptitiously fishes it out of her pocket and swipes it unlocked. 

[wasp] omg toni u hv 2 c dis   
_ [wasp has sent a file sshmr.jpg] Open now? _

Toni hesitates for a moment, and glances at Steve and Thor. Neither of them are paying attention to her. On screen, the blonde-haired princess, whose name Toni has never learned, is playing the lyre, and Toni rolls her eyes. God, there’s still more than an hour left to go. 

She opens it, and blinks. It’s a screenshot from Jan’s Instagram app, and on it is a picture of her, Steve and Thor, from what she thinks is last week, after von Doom’s latest attempt to annoy the Fantastic Four spilled onto the Academy campus. All of them had been exhausted, fallen asleep on the couch and someone had covered them with a big knit blanket. The picture looks like it was taken from the door and while there’s nothing really scandalous about the image itself, the hashtags, from the verified account of  **_ms. marvel_ ** , declare them “# _ totes adorbs, #post-battle avengers, #ot3s 4 life, #<3<3<3, #stark spangled hammer _ ”

Toni stares at the image in confusion, then backs out to the text message screen with Jan as Beowulf launches into the world’s most melodramatic speech on screen, a speech which has Thor rising to his feet with hoarse, emotional outbursts and a clenched, raised fist.

[titania] what the hell is a ot3?   
[wasp] it’s a silly thing. Don’t worry about it.    
[wasp] kamala just gets excited.   
[titania] stark spangled hammer? DIEWTK?   
[wasp] forget it, toni. it’s nothing.

Toni isn’t sure how far she trusts that statement, but reluctantly types back “okay jan. c u 2moro” and puts her phone back into her pocket as Thor sinks back down into his seat, murmuring approving things under his breath. Steve leans forward, elbows on his knees, to be closer to the screen and all its special effects. Toni just sinks her head back onto the overstuffed top of the couch and begins designing the next Titania armor in her mind. She doesn’t mind being stuck here for an hour and change, but she’ll be damned if she isn’t productive at the same time. 

She puts the image out of her mind, sets it to simmer on back burner. Jan told her it was a silly thing, and even though she's not sure she wants to trust Jan’s judgement, she tells herself it's nothing. 

As it turns out, it’s not nothing.


End file.
